问考｜新高考英语范例点评，读后续写解题需注意些啥？
作为新高考英语中的新题型，读后续写已考了两次。今天，小编特邀阅卷教师为你盘点该题型答题中的主要问题，进行范例点评，并提出解题思路及教学建议。
经济合作与发展组织（OECD）秘书长AndreasSchleicher曾指出：“过去，‘有文化’主要指能阅读，用来处理一套完整的编码知识体系的技术技能。每个人往往只需要学习一次就可以运用终身。今天，‘有文化’意味着会学习，更多地是指在不断变化的环境中与各种各样的情况下能够识别、理解、阐释、创造以及交换知识的能力和动力，包括处理歧义、解释和解决不同信息间的冲突。”这番话，可视为形象理解英语核心素养内涵的一把“钥匙”：如果前一个“有文化”，指的是英语基础知识和基本技能的话，那么后一个“有文化”，就是指英语素养。英语高考读后续写这种考试模式，堪称检验考生英语素养的一种最佳测试方式。
2017年6月浙江省高考英语继续采用读后续写这一写作形式，难度适中，利于考生发挥想象力，试题总体设置非常好。根据要求，考生应根据材料内容、所给段落开头语和所标示关键词进行续写（150词左右），将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接、情节和结构完整的短文。考生该如何完成读后续写并获得高分？笔者认为，应从以下几个角度入手。
解题思路
1.通读全文，读懂原文
通读全文首先要解决好五个W和一个H的问题，即理清人物who、地点where、时间when、事件what、原因why及怎样发展how。
因此，文章大意就是，Mac与好友一起骑行去阿拉斯加，路上同伴因修自行车落后，Mac独自一人前行，遇到狼的突袭，好一番搏斗，幸亏此时Paul和Becky两人开车经过，出手相救。如何发展（how）？这要看考生的想象力如何。 在通读全文时，考生应将影响语义理解的词句进行仔细揣摩，结合上下文推测出它的准确含义。比如，A bright red cloud enveloped the animal，该句中的enveloped可以结合上下文，猜出它的含义大致为surround sb. or sth. completely。 2.构思情节，谋篇布局
按照原文中事件发生的逻辑性，构思好情节发展，这个发展须符合情节内在的逻辑。因为这不是写科幻小说，不是写神话，因此应该符合现实发生的真实性。所以这个环节的主要任务是谋篇布局。
布局谋篇最关键应利用好两方面的信息：①十个标有下划线的关键词语，Mac，friends，bicycle，pedaled，home，jumped，wolf，cars，climb，Paul。②续写部分所给的两段落的首句。第一段第一句是：The car abruptly stopped in front of him.第二段的第一句是：A few minutes later，the other two cyclists arrived.这两句话起到很关键的作用，无论从时间的先后、情节的发展都要以这两句话作为内在逻辑关系。很多考生将two cyclists等同于Paul and Becky，说明没有读懂原文。因此在情节的安排中，必须按照叙述的顺序，继续紧密结合原材料中五个W的逻辑顺序发展下去。第一段写什么？应围绕Paul and Becky如何救助Mac展开；第二段写什么？搞清开头的这两个人是谁很重要，然后依照符合故事情节发展的内在逻辑推进下去。第一段和第二段要衔接紧密，相互关联，不能独立存在。
3.理清逻辑，优化语言
这一部分侧重点为语言逻辑，词句结构都必须符合当时人狼大战的情景。写作不必追求高大上的词汇，相反，朴实自然、地道、贴切的词语便是好的词语。杨柳的美体现在纤细婀娜，樟树的美体现在挺拔繁茂，不同的写作对象应采用不同的语言风格，必须采用适当的描写侧重点。个人以为，2016年10月高考读后续写题可以比较倾向于心理描写；而2017年6月的高考读后续写题，建议考生以动作描写为主，可以参考电影《速度与激情》中的画面风格，采用令人眼花缭乱的动作描写，以超快节奏描写场景。
续写要抓住续这一核心，按照情节的发展进行延续，写作手法上必须以叙为主，描写上以动作描写为重心，情节的发展合乎逻辑地推进。
答题中的主要问题
1.内容
在阅卷过程中，我们发现，一部分考生没有读懂原文，如不认识bear spray，不理解a bright red cloud enveloped the animal，没有理清人物关系，误认为Paul与Mac是好朋友：这部分考生由于阅读能力直接影响到续写的发挥。另外一部分考生则是大面积抄写试卷中的阅读理解或是完形填空等处的语句；还有些考生描写心理活动和场景过多，缺乏具体描写，导致故事不够连贯，不够完整。
2.语言
从评卷结果来看，考生出现的问题偏向于刻意追求运用高级、新颖的词汇，强行运用复杂句型等语法结构，而忽略了与原文语言环境的符合度和连贯度。同时出现了一些单词拼写错误等，尤其是副词的拼写和不规则动词的拼写错误，如disappointly，to his surprised等。更有甚者用套路作文，这与读后续写的全新创作宗旨相违背。
3.逻辑
①违背生活真实。如在紧张的人狼大战环境下，有的考生却写两人在拉家常。②人物关系混乱。如增加了一些人物，让故事变得更加复杂；把Paul与Mac看成是原先认识的；有些故事的结局并没有交代如何处理狼。③两段的开头语理解不到位，以及两段之间衔接不够，也带来了很多故事上的混乱。比如第一段的The car abruptly stopped in front of him，学生理解为是Mac要求他停车等。
4.其他问题
阅卷中发现很多考生错误地将一个单词随意移行。因为单词移行规则很复杂，建议考生还是不要拆字为好。另外，阅卷中发现很多标点错误，以下几点需注意：英语中没有顿号，分割句中并列成分多用逗号，如She slowly，carefully，deliberately moved the box；英文的句号是实心点（.）；英文的省略号是三个点（...），位置在行底。
作文范例点评
范文一
The car abruptly stopped in front of him. A woman hurriedly opened the door and stretched out her hand, shouting, “Get in!”Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation, leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.The moment he shut the door, he caught the glimpse of the fierce eyes and hungry look of the wolf by the door. A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.However, the car had left the wolf far behind, which made him sigh with relief. Mac thanked Paul and Becky and afterwards they pulled over by the road to wait for Mac’s friends.
A few minutes later, the two other cyclists arrived. As soon as they met, his friends’ worried look faded away. “Where have you been? We saw your bicycle on the road. ”His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart. After Mac explained to them, they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness. On the way home, night breeze made him at ease and he couldn’t wait to share his experience with his wife and children and show the kindness of the world.
〖点评〗
这篇文章语言上最大的特色是无灵主语的使用，即用无生命特征的名词做句子的主语。整篇11个句子，其中无灵主语就有5句，占了42%。（1）A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.（2）However, the car had left the wolf far behind, which made him sigh with relief.（3）As soon as they met, his friends’worried look faded away.（4）these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.（5）On the way home, night breeze made him at ease.这样，同样含义的句子就由平淡变得生动有力了。如：Feeling indeed had smothered her judgment that day.（选自英国著名作家Thomas Hardy的小说Tess of the D’urbervilles）
语言上的第二大特色就是这篇文章词汇的使用，如indebtedness等于gratitude感激，pull over表达路边停车，这些都体现了较为深厚的语言功底。
但是，文章还是有些瑕疵。Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation，leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.这一句中应将leaving改为left，使其与前面的grabbed及后面的jumped 成为连贯动作，也可把jumped 改为jumping同leaving平行成为grabbed 的伴随状语；His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.此句中的penetrate是个动词被错误地当做名词使用，可以改为His friend asked and these words like a ray of sunshine warmed his heart；After Mac explained to them, they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness.此句中的sincerely应该改为形容词修饰名词indebtedness。
范文二
The car abruptly stopped in front of him. Mac’s heart jumped wildly, and he dashed towards the car without the slightest hesitation for he knew it was his only chance. It was a real race against time to make it! Thank god, Mac successfully made the door open and that fierce wolf was just around the corner. The instant Mac settled him on the seat, Paul started the car in a flash. The wolf had to give up and find another goal. What a narrow escape! Mac collapsed into the seat and smiled bitterly. The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest.
A few minutes later, the two other cyclists arrived. Seeing his friends, Mac felt a great weight taken off his mind. His friends were amazed at Mac’s experience, for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf! Mac thanked Paul and Becky again and again, but his appreciation was beyond words. He said sincerely: “You can’t imagine how grateful I was, for I have been given a second life!” Tears gathered up in Mac’s eyes when he waved them goodbye. It was obviously an unforgettable experience, and Mac would have a lot to share with his family after he got home. It was his courage and other people’s kindness that saved him.
〖点评〗
从语言角度出发，这篇文章特征明显。首先是语言地道，表现在三处for的使用，（1）for he knew it was his only chance.（2）for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf!（3） for I have been given a second life! 句子中使用for更加符合英语的思维习惯，尽管前后是并列关系，但是前面提供了主要的信息，然后进行补充说明。如：因为李越出色的表现，校长授予他“本周学生之星”荣誉称号。在这句话中，汉语的思维是先说原因，而英语的翻译则是先说结果：The president awarded Li Yue the title of “Star Student of the Week” for what she did for our class. 原因和结果的位置是有很大差异的。再者，此文章比较娴熟地使用了写作的各种技巧，如强调句的使用It was his courage and other people’s kindness that saved him. 感叹句的使用：（1）You can’t imagine how grateful I was，（2）What a narrow escape! 等等。
但是，这篇文章也存在一些不足。The instant Mac settled him on the seat, Paul started the car in a flash.此句中的him应该改为himself。第一段尾句The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest.这句话与上下文脱节，起不到承上启下的作用，出现了情节逻辑的问题。
总的说来，该文章比较好地完成了读后续写的任务，既读懂了原文，又有比较好的语言功底将故事叙写下去。
范文三
The car abruptly stopped in front of him. Seeing Paul wave at him kindly and open the car door for him, Mac immediately jumped out of his bicycle and rushed into the car. No sooner than the poor man had got in did Paul close the door. The wolf walked around the car and howled furiously at them, but just in vain. Realizing it couldn’t catch Mac any more, the wolf ultimately gave up and walked away gloomily. Watching the wolf was swallowed by the road, Mac, bathed in perspiration, sighed with relief and sank down to the back seat. Paul handed him a bottle of water and he managed a weak smile, murmuring something like “Thank you very much”.
A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived. Knowing that Mac had been chased by a wolf, they were stumped for words and paralysed with fear. Fortunately, at that moment appeared Paul who lent a helping hand to Mac. The two friends extended their earnest gratitude to Paul for rescuing Mac and then took Mac back home. After such a terrible experience, the splendid landscape of Alaska seemed no longer to be a temptation to them. On the way back home, feeling the light breeze through his hair, Mac felt what happened just now was like a bad dream, but a warm glow flooded in as he thought of Paul’s unselfish help. The most precious part of humans is their care for each other.
〖点评〗
这是一篇非常优秀的文章。特别靓丽的地方就是doing的使用，具体有：（1）Seeing Paul wave at him kindly and open the car door for him，Mac immediately jumped out of his bicycle and rushed into the car.（2）Realizing it couldn’t catch Mac any more, the wolf ultimately gave up and walked away gloomily.（3）Watching the wolf was swallowed by the road, Mac, bathed in perspiration, sighed with relief and sank down to the back seat.（4）Paul handed him a bottle of water and he managed a weak smile, murmuring something like “ Thank you very much”.（5）Knowing that Mac had been chased by a wolf, they were stumped for words and paralysed with fear.（6）On the way back home, feeling the light breeze through his hair, Mac felt what happened just now was like a bad dream, but a warm glow flooded in as he thought of Paul’s unselfish help. The most precious part of humans is their care for each other.共占了12句话中的50%，却不让人感到单调，非谓语动词的使用可以比较地道地表现语言的美。
其次，文章大量使用了高级词汇，howled furiously at them, ultimately, gloomily, perspiration,splendid landscape, murmuring, stumped, extended their earnest gratitude等等，特别是不同场合不同动作的动词的适当使用。
语言描写贴切地表达了情节发展的逻辑，采用动作描写大大重于对话描写，读来有很强的身临其境的感觉。
美中不足的是考生在试图使用高级表达的时候出现了些瑕疵，如No sooner than the poor man had got in did Paul close the door. 这句话在结构上是错误的，必须改为No sooner had the poor man got in than Paul closed the door. 另外，Mac immediately jumped out of his bicycle and rushed into the car.此句中的out of 必须改为 off。
教学改进建议
教师应从何处入手，在教学实践中发挥核心素养的积极作用？关键一点，在平时的英语教学实践中，要关注学生的思维发展，教会他们发现问题、解决问题以及运用英语思维的能力。当今高考英语读后续写题型本质上就是用英语思维能力输出的一个具体体现，所以我们在教学中必须做到一些变与不变。
不变的是：理清读后续写的真正含义。读后续写是考生通过阅读所给材料，理解文章，对原文信息进行再加工的一种写作练习，阅读原文将语言输入，通过续写将语言输出，这两者紧密结合，将语言学习和运用有机地结合了起来，真正做到将语言学活。
变的是：读后续写的考试方式，在很大程度上改变了传统英语教学以语法为中心教语言的模式。然而，当下英语课堂，太多重视词汇的讲解、语法的解析，而对学生的思维能力培养不够，或者几乎没有；学生课堂上没有可以展现思维的时间和空间；英语教师对语境的创设不充分，对创造性的思维挖掘不深等等。读后续写这种模式的信息输出，要求广大教师从本质上改变传统的教学模式，将更多的课堂时间留给学生，变求同为求异。正如一千个读者眼中有一千个哈姆雷特，这是英语教学工作者必须秉持的教学理念。
为了做好这一点，有几点建议：
1.大量阅读，增加信息量。
教材的局限性是满足不了高考的新题型，因此在平时的教学过程中，应多输入英美国家的文化背景知识，增加文学作品的阅读，大量累积关于情绪情感和动作行为的词汇和表达。我们必须主动阅读教材以外的报刊、杂志、经典英语小说，享受英语的美感，随时摘记，建立一本写作摘记本，见到好词、好句、好段落，立刻记到本子上，反复背诵，并运用到口语和写作中。如《双城记》（A Tale of Two Cities）有类似的动作描写，可以借鉴：With a roar that sounded as if all the breath in France had been shaped into the detested word, the living sea rose, wave on wave, depth on depth, and overflowed the city to that point. Alarm-bells ringing, drums beating, the sea raging and thundering on its new beach, the attack began.
2.开放教学，还学生自由。
自由首先是思维的自由，不敢想，没时间想，不愿意想，这是学生现在常见的阻碍发展创造性思维的现象。浙江省从2005年高考英语书面表达的大转变开始，对控制式的教学提出了新的要求，万人一面的书面表达时代已经过去，有多少考生，就有多少个文学作品。发散性思维的练习，不仅仅要表现在课堂上，比如说，课堂可以让学生讲讲故事，而且还要在其他英语学习活动中发挥。
3.改变模式，以写作为重。
剑桥大学语言中心英语培训班课程是这样设计的：学生在上课前，必须先参加语言能力评估测试，测试内容包括：①听一段十分钟的演说（内容不限但以社科类为主，如大学的历史，人类学的介绍，生物学的介绍，考古学的介绍，儿童心理学的介绍以及第二语言教育学的介绍等等），针对该演说写一篇250字的摘要。②阅读一篇社科类文章，字数为5000字以上，针对该文章写一篇250字的摘要。③写一篇300字的文章，介绍自己在读的专业，以及毕业后的打算。根据这样的启示，平时在教学实践中就不能孤立地进行听说读写的教学，笔者的建议是weave listening and writing, weave speaking
and writing, weave reading and writing，做到一材多用，一切为了写。开发和整合好的材料。总之，无论怎样重视英语的写作都不为过。
4.全面规划，三年一盘棋。
从读后续写的实际出发，必须有计划地培养学生思维的创造性。做到既创造，又创新。能够不墨守成规，奇异、求变，能够创造性地编出故事。为了达到这个能力目标，高中三年每个学期各有根据学生实际制定的明确任务和目标。如高一抓好英语基本句子结构基础后训练续写记事，让学生大胆思维多写，所写的故事符合逻辑情节即可。高二开始训练概要归纳，让学生写少，写精，提高归纳能力。高三两者并重，两者交互进行，每次习作都要认真参照《考试说明》读后续写和概要写作的要求，发现问题，解决问题。这样，既可以夯实基础，又可以提高技巧，从而提高新高考英语写作新题型的答题能力。
5.多管齐下，改出好作文。
好作文是改出来的，因此在平时的习作中，老师要花大量时间批改学生的作文。为了取得更好效果，可以采用多管齐下的办法，也就是学生本人批改、学生交换批改、教师批改等三管齐下的办法。批改从语言、内容、逻辑、书写等四方面展开。学生本人批改，可以掌握作文批改的能力，久而久之可以掌握好作文的标准；学生不定期地交换批改，旁观者清，不同的个体的特长精华会集中到一个作品上；教师批改可以集中反映学生共性存在的问题，同时，教师之间可以互相协作，非任教本班的教师批改不认识的学生，这样可以最大程度地发现问题，使习作者收获颇多。
对于学生来说，更要主动订正习作中的错误，将错误分类，订正重写，一直到没有错误为止。
如此多管齐下地批改文章，学生无论从语言、思维、逻辑及书写上都会有突飞猛进的提高。
此外，平时在训练学生习作的时候一定要做到限时训练，以提高学生的写作速度。
来源：浙江考试 作者：何建军 高级教师
家长永远是孩子学习英语的好伙伴，英语不是教出来的，交流才是学习英语的好方法。我们家孩子通过在可恩学科英语真人在线一对二的交流，短时间内听说读写的能力太高了不少。 {:6_286:}
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